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Monday, May 22, 2006

DVC The Movie

There is only one possibly reason that I can imagine because of which anyone would like The Da Vinci Code, the movie, can be that he has not read the book and is totally unaware about how the story proceeds. For the record, I liked the book as much as I liked the movie Die Hard and if you do not understand what I mean, then do not read any further, as probably you would not understand that either. However, the movie is, for the lack of a better phrase, a piece of dog turd. May be the version I saw had something missing, but I am glad for that because I could not tolerate it any longer. If you are looking for a plot summary here, I suggest you go and read the book and take my word, it would be time well spent.

Everything about the movie is right (actors, director, story) but still it manages to fail miserably. It is hard to imagine that an above average actor like Tom Hanks could not display more than one emotion for 88.72 % of the movie, which was of bewilderment. May be he was thinking, "What the hell happened to me? I used to act." I thought that Tommy boy could not be miscast in any role as he is decent enough to adapt to any character but clearly he has proven me wrong and that too by a huge margin. Audrey looks good in the movie but for me to like a girl in the movie either she should act or should have big boobs, and clearly she did not make the cut. Ian McKellan was probably the only good thing in the acting department or may be he looked good because of comparison. Paul Bettany, who was trying to play an Opus Dei assassin, looked more like a Bond villain. Ron Howard, again a man who was perfectly suited for the role of a director, failed to deliver miserably. I very strongly wonder if his ideas about making a thriller were clear or he was taking a lesson from Abbas-Mustan. At this point I am thinking, "Whether Abbas-Mustan would have done a better job?" I cannot come to a clear conclusion and that is possible only if he did a real lousy job.

The long narratives at times are necessary but they are extremely bland. At times it is so boring that Joey would pull his arm out so that he would have something to throw at the screen. I was very close to doing it but I didn't because I was afraid that the monitor would break. Ron did stay faithful to the original source, which turned out to be a mistake. In the end, DVC is as entertaining as standing in a queue to withdraw money from SBI (Branch Code 202) for 149 minutes. On second thoughts, at the end of the queue you at least feel happy because of the money in your hand.

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