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Sunday, June 27, 2004

The Electronic Female

With the term, “Electronic Female” I am referring to all those females whom we find in chat rooms at some point of the day or another. I am aware that some member of this species will be reading this post and hence I have started preparing for the repercussions that might follow. Given below are some characteristics of the Indian version of these species:

1. Most of them are actually males posing as females. The percentage of such creatures goes up in the hours of darkness.

2. They will not have their own names as IDs but a twisted version of it. Few are creative enough to think beyond contortions but they end up choosing their names from a novel (Richard Bach and Mills N Boons predominantly), a sun sign or some constellation.

3. They will give you their original names within 15 minutes of chat.

4. They are extremely insecure about the way they look so if they send a picture, do not forget to complement them on the way they look.

5. They have a tendency to argue with you on each and every issue even if they agree with your stand.

6. If you divide India into 4 parts, North, South, East and West, the distribution will be : South > North > West > East.

7. Hyderabad seems to be the leader in the city wise rankings with Chennai and Delhi not far behind.

8. They will never ever ADD you to their lists so you have to take the first step. If you do ADD them, they expect that you should ask for their permission.

9. Yahoo "Books N Literature" room is the jungle where various members of this species can be spotted with ease.

There are many others but as my “ELECTRONIC FEMALE” has come online just now, I have to go and chat with her. ;)

P.S. All the above data has been collected through years of research and innumerable hours spent in chat rooms.


Blogger Aditya said...

Great site dude... will be a regular here... i'm from IIT roorkee, landed here though the IIT blog site... I'm new to this blogging thing... my site is:
u r welcome

2:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Dude...

i met you at nihilanth, remember?
I was leading the Roorkee contingent...

The conversation went like this:

handa: Do you mind if I borrow your fag?
me: Yes, yes, please go ahead...
handa: so you do mind...
me: oh! i didnt mean it like that...heh

and so on...

the other fellow to comment before me...aditya ramgopal is a very lovely junior of mine

anyways..nice blog...and yeah, i am a major salinger fan...

keep in touch...

Sanket Shrivastava

9:19 AM  
Blogger Som said...

Stoopid topic to write on.. Handa!
In b/w, my blog address hasnt been changed on ur site. remove the underscore.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Amit Goel said...


did expect this type of writings from you.. u disappointed on monday morning.. com'on yaar ... kya hua.. sunday ko zyada mehnat ho gayi kya ..ya G khatam ho gaya tha

10:13 PM  
Blogger Me said...

Aditya, thanks for visiting my blog.
Sanket, I was grassed out most of the time during the Indore trip. Infact the whole KGP team was. But I do remember a bit about meeting someone from Roorkee. His father had something to do with music industry. Not sure, if you are the one of not. Get back to me on this
Shouvik, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. It is one of the most stupid topics to write on, still you need to have something REAAAAAAALLY BAD once in a while so that my NORMALLY BAD posts look better than usual. Btw, the "UNDERSCORE" has been sent to the UNDERGROUND.
Amit, GURUDEV, Bandi blog padti hai yaar. Kyun poori pol-patti khol de rahe ho? Already the poem on G had strong repercussions so I sincerely request you and others to please stay away from the GREENER aspects of my life.

Good news guys,
For the word INTELLECTIONS, the blog has 3 ranking on GOOGLE. For the phrase LESSER MORTAL it has 2 ranking. Thanks for your support people and anyone who likes to read my blog, I request them to make a link to it on their page. Yes, I know it sounds a bit too desperate but I have been like this for a long long time.

10:32 PM  
Blogger Amit Goel said...

Sorry Handa.. but didn't know tere blogs bandiyan bhi padti hain..anyway, i'll stay away from these type of comments on ur personal life and daily routines..:) but in any case..i hope ur personal life must be already public.. so Cheers !! man.. u r a known person

11:16 PM  
Blogger TheDQ said...

Dont worry Handa. I have a friend from KGP (narsana) and hes told me about all that goes on there, so im fully aware of the keedas.
Moreover, the "girls" that you chat with will turn out that way, because only "those types" of girls do things like that. You know the equation, guys who think girls are playdolls get girls who think guys are bank balances. Works both ways.

6:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah handa...that was me...

and it was the fillum industry.

my father writes those crappy bollywood masala movies

so you do remember

and bhonsdike...if you had grass...why didnt you offer me... ;)

howz the rock gfroup 'Hayat' coming up...

lemme know!


7:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hi handa ..cool man..
i too have a gr8 experience of such electronic females..touching my heart at some point of time and leaving to ashes in a few days..and that i have an idea that the foreign girls r more good to chat with ..though they cant meet but can give us a lot of fun...

3:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


where did you come up with Richard Bach???

I would agree on Eric Segal... but Richard Bach is not in that league...


4:58 PM  
Anonymous Kaushik Saha said...

Typical Ravi Handa style: having known this casanova for quite some time (mind you, he has some of the best looking and really intelligent Girlfriends)I can say that he is an experienced guy to write on such a topic-BTW Handa, when are you coming to KGP next?
Also-yeh photograph kab ki hain?
(u haven't looked so thin in ages!!!!!)

7:56 AM  

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