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Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Men Without Women : Does anyone remember Laughter? !

NOTE: This "Note" was added after Santosh's, Amit's and Arunima's comments. This post was supposed to be funny (in a kind of Woody Allen way) and but it probably didnt come out as I expected.

Men are always in an illusion that they are in control of the world. I know this because I am one. We, men, like to think we’re in charge because most of the top jobs in private and public sector are held by men, but I have a shocking statistical insight to share with you - THOSE ARE OTHER MEN. The total percentage of men in those top spots is roughly .000001 percent of the male population and I’m not one of them. If you are reading this then definitely you are not one of them. I have about as much in common with the Tatas, Birlas and Ambanis as I have with the spider hanging in my room and is actually giving me weird looks right now. Someone might argue that men have access to the top jobs whereas women do not. There’s some truth to that, but the mathematical fact is, 99.999999 percent of all men can’t get those top jobs, either. There aren’t enough of those jobs to go around. The rest of us men live in a world that is ruled by women.

MEN WANT SEX. If men ruled the world they could get sex anywhere, anytime. Restaurants would give you sex instead of breath mints on the way out. Petrol pumps would give sex with every fill-up. Banks would give sex to anyone who opened a Savings Account, but it doesn’t work that way, at least not at my bank. Instead, for the most part, sex is provided by women if they feel like it, which they usually don’t. If a heterosexual guy wants sex, he has to hold doors, buy flowers, act polite, lift heavy objects, kill spiders, pretend to be interested in boring things, and generally act like a complete idiot. Can anyone think men designed that system?

If men were smart enough to figure out what’s going on, they might be tempted to use their superior size and strength to dominate women, but women are too clever to let that happen. Thousands of years ago, women figured out they could disguise their preferences as “religion” and control gullible men that way. I can imagine this conversation in any household :

Husband: I’ll be late by an hour as I am going to flirt with my secretary.

Wife: You can’t do that.

Husband: Why not?

Wife (thinking fast): Um... God said so. He’s an omnipotent being. If you don’t obey him you’ll burn in hell.

Husband: Whooooa, that was a close one. Thanks for warning me ...


Blogger Arunima said...

i don't know about religion but glad to know men cannot do things as they wish. lifted my morale.

10:07 PM  

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