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Friday, April 28, 2006

Scary Phone Call 4

The top three things that your girlfriend can say to scare the shit out of you are:
3. My parents want to meet you.
2. Where is this relationship going?
and the worst.... It hasn't happened to me and I hope it doesn't happen to you. (Yeah I know what you are thinking... That's because it would be fun :) )
1. I'm late.

"I'm late" is indeed scarier than "I'm pregnant" because if she uses the P word you start making a plan about how to handle the crisis situation but if she uses the late phrase then you just have to hang around there and wait which can be quite painful to say the least. Its pretty much like getting an AIDS test done where you have to wait 5 days for the results to come out (Thanks Chris for the info) and you start questioning yourself about all the stupid things you did.

This world does give us plenty of options but do you need those when you already have a white whale?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Thats why I hate online tests

The Last Man on Earth
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSDm)

Shit, rejected again. You are The Last Man on Earth.

Sorry, but most women would rather see the human species wither to an end--and therefore deny the most fundamental instinct that living creatures have--than sleep with you.

We've learned the following: you don't think things through. You're haphazard. You're dangerous. You're somewhat inexperienced. It's totally obvious that you're a horny bugger, as well. Everybody knows that and steers clear.

To top things off, when you do find your way into a relationship, you tend to be a dick somewhere down the line and fuck it all up.

Your exact opposite:
The Gentleman

Deliberate Gentle Love Master
There's a small, but negligible, chance we're wrong. In any case, your friends find your shit hilarious. There's nothing cooler than a dude reducing himself to human rubble.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

The Top # Reasons You Should Not Get High

1) You could burn down your neighbour's mattress.
2) You could blow the fuse of the whole floor.
3) You could burn your own god damn nose.
4) You could call your friend "Ooo Mummy!"
5) You could become willing to sleep in a room which might have a snake.
6) You could become emotionally attached to Al Pacino's speeches.
7) You could develop a new theory about the ending of The Twelve Monkeys.
8) You could actually begin to like jokes like these:

Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world".
"Why is that?" said the other tramp.
"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."
The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days."
"Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?"

"Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Tech GC

Whenever the question of interhallls or GCs came up my comment has always been, "Frankly speaking, I don't give a damn" but somehow things have changed a bit this year and the reason is not a change in my attitude but the number of people who are bugging me about it. So, the situation is RP and Nehru (My hall) are running neck to neck in the General Championship and it has all boiled down to the business quiz, which for the record, is not my field of expertise. Whoever wins the Biz Quiz tomorrow wins the GC. As a matter of fact, I don't want to win it. Hell, I don't even want to go and participate in the god damn event because there is no cash prize involved. Winning another quiz cannot build my reputation any further but if the reverse happens, I can imagine quite a few people coming up to me and asking, "What went wrong Handa?" People are coming up to me and saying even now, "How is the prepration going?" The look on their faces is priceless when I tell them that I spent the whole day watching season 1 of Bewitched. I don't know why people take these GC, Interhalls, elections business so seriously. With Gautam Ghosh as the quizmaster, the quiz is extremely unpredictable but with Cram participating its obvious which way the Gold medal is going. Shanks is the lead in the RP team and I do wish that he wins or even if he doesn't, at least it doesn't get dirty as the Soc 'n' Cult GC.
Cram even has a fan club on orkut, which opened couple of days back. I request you to go and join. (Happy with the publicity, mate).
And for all you quizzers, if you didn't know already, GOD is on orkut too.
Update: RP won, fair and square.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Book Review: Tokyo Cancelled

When the opening lines of a book are, “There was chaos”, it makes sure that a person like me is going to at least read the first two chapters and I am quite sure that anybody who likes Marquez can not put it down after the first five pages. Rana Dasgupta’s Tokyo Cancelled narrates stories in a way which is probably the oldest way of doing the task, which is a group of 13 people huddled around a fire telling the tales of far lands. The only difference being the fact that there is no fire but they are stranded on an airport of a country which resembles Krakozia where they can’t do anything but get inspired by Chaucer.

The story which I liked the most was of the memory editor because I find it making a very powerful anti-materialism statement. The one with the doll and the Japanese touches a chord because of the sweet but subtle romance. The stories jump from Paris to Istanbul, from Lagos to Buenos Aires and the characters vary from dwarfs to princess to sailors and the imagery used is abundant and exhilarating which make this book worth a buy.

Some people might be disturbed by the fact that the thread connecting all these stories is very thin but the themes which vary from deceit, love, greed, as well as the style in which they are documented is very prominent and hard-hitting. There is a slight bit of cynicism about the globalisation which makes people travel across the globe, alone. It also elucidates that the concept of globalisation is elusive as it always does bring people closer but maintains the boundaries.

Rushdie has shown that contemporary writing didn’t have to be banal or unliterary and this Oxford boy, if not following Rushdie’s exact steps, is definitely moving in the same direction. However, the sad part is that he is not a member of the Indo-Anglian literature club which is definitely the club’s loss as he was born and raised in UK and has remarked in the past that only his name is Indian.

This post was supposed to appear on desicritics also but I just can't figure out their posting system.

You can also read it here.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Gtalk Reloaded

I know its the first of april but I am not fooling around. I have not used it much and don't know about the new features but will write about it tomorrow. For the time being you can download it from here: